Adventures In Being Sexiled
by particularly good finder
Summary: Kurt gets sexiled. Finn is amused. His roommate is not.


**Fuck my "hiatus." I can't concentrate on schoolwork, can't concentrate on my own work, so I'm going write fanfiction, dammit! (Also, I haven't been properly sexiled yet, but it's heading that direction. And I have woken up to a guy in my roomie's bed, so there you go. Oh, college. How I love thee.**

**Also, for those who don't know, "sexiled" is when you get locked out of your room because your roommate is having sex with someone. Totes awk.**

"I got sexiled."

Finn blinked, head fuzzy. Kurt was standing in his doorway, dressed in the attire he had been wearing for his date with…Justin? Turner? Finn couldn't keep the guys straight anymore.

Ha. Straight. Finn laughed to himself.

"What's _sexiled_? Did you get stood up or something?"

Kurt rubbed his temple, glaring at Finn. "No. I got back from my date with Brian-" Ah, _Brian_. That was this week's guy. "And there was a bracelet on my doorknob."

Finn was too sleepy to comprehend any of that. "So?"

Kurt snorted. "Do you really think my roommate or I have any bracelets in our room, Finn?"

The taller boy was starting to regret going to the same college as his stepbrother. "Um…yes?"

Kurt crossed his arms, glowering. Clearly this was the wrong answer. "Finn. As effeminate as I clearly am, I do _not_ partake in such tacky practices as the wearing of bracelets. They are horrid and clangy and gaudy and that is _not_ the point. The point is that there is a _girl_ in my room."

Finn blinked. Once, twice, three-

"With my roommate. A girl. And Dylan. _Together_."

A light came on in Finn's eyes. "OH!" Then he started sniggering, amused by his brother's predicament.

"Oh, shut up." Kurt was flushing, arms crossed and clearly uncomfortable. "Normally he gives me heads up and I spend the night in Kelsey's room. But he didn't, and I don't have anywhere to sleep and I'm _tired_ and possibly a little tipsy but that's beside the point. The point is: can I sleep here tonight?"

Finn raised an eyebrow. "My roommate is here, you know."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I promise I won't give him the gay."

The taller boy sighed. "I just know how much you hate Kyle. He _is_ asleep, though, so I suppose I can trust that you won't start a screaming match with him tonight."

Kurt brushed past Finn into the cramped room haughtily. "He started the last one, not me. Dick."

The good thing about Kyle was that he slept through _anything_. Finn could probably bring in a harem of girls while blasting country music and turning on a strobe light, and Kyle wouldn't wake up. Not that Finn had contemplated trying that theory out or anything…

Finn jumped back into his bed, eyes closing sleepily. He heard Kurt huff, then start rummaging through his things, looking for…well, he wasn't quite sure what Kurt was doing, actually.

"Wha' 're you lookin' fer?" He asked, face squashed against his pillow. Kurt looked close to murder at this point.

"A sleeping bag, genius. You know, so I can _sleep_." Finn chuckled, and pulled back his blanket.

"C'mere, man."

"No."

"Kurt."

"No."

"Justin'll never have to know."

"My date's name was Brian. And that's not what I'm worried about."

Finn sighed, throwing his head back against his pillow. "Then _what_ are you worried about? We've shared a bed before."

Kurt suppressed a grin at the though. Though he could count the times that had happened on one hand, the memories were fond. There was the time they had passed out in Kurt's bed together after a particularly wild (and drunken) glee party, laughing and giggling. (There might have been a kiss in there too, but they both chose to feign ignorance and never bring it up again.)

Then there was the time that Rachel had broke up with Finn and he refused to get out of bed, so Kurt went in after him and ended up snuggling his brother until they both fell asleep. Finn was almost completely normal the next day, and even helped his mother cook breakfast.

And then there was the time neither boy felt like going to school, so they feigned illness and sat in bed together all day, playing video games and reading magazines and surfing the internet and watching movies and drinking tea and sleeping the day away, curled around each other in a lazy haze.

"But…the bed is so _small_." It was true. Though the standard dorm beds were designed to fit the tallest students, they were still twin-sized, and Finn barely fit in his by himself.

"And so are you." Finn grinned cheekily. He knew Kurt was (unnecessarily) conscious about his weight, and he _really_ knew that compliments would get him everywhere.

"Such a charmer," Kurt murmured, settling down next to Finn. Their arms brushed, and Kurt nearly toppled over the edge.

Finn grabbed his waist, hauling him back onto the bed. "You're not really going to sleep in skinny jeans, are you?"

Kurt gave him his best "are you fucking kidding me" look, cheeks tinged red. "Are you trying to make this more awkward, Finn?"

Finn shrugged. "You're clearly forgetting our drunken make-out session last year. _That_ was awkward."

Kurt gasped, and slapped Finn's arm. "It was one kiss, and we don't _talk_ about that, Finnegan!"

Finn laughed, perhaps a bit too loudly, pulling Kurt close to him. "It was more than one kiss, and it cleared up a _lot_ of tension between us. It was soul-cleansing."

Kurt growled. "I'm pretty sure Blaine knew about it. You know, my _boyfriend_ at the time?"

Finn shrugged. "And I was dating Rachel. I still say it was good for our bromance."

Stifling a laugh, Kurt pulled his pants off, and chucked them across Finn's chair. "Whatever. I'm too tired to care at this point."

Finn chuckled and pulled Kurt flush against him, wrapping his arms around his stepbrother tightly.

"You know normal brothers don't do this, right?" Kurt asked, letting his eyes droop. He felt Finn nod.

"Yeah, but then again, we've never been normal, have we?" Kurt shrugged, and closed his eyes. He felt Finn giggle. "You got sexiled. That's hilarious."

"Shut _up_!" Kurt pouted, and Finn just laughed, pressing his lips to Kurt's forehead.

"Night, Kurt."

Kurt sighed, rolling his eyes one last time for the night. "Goodnight, my odd brother."

They fell into silence, punctuated only by Finn's snores as the night wore on. They didn't hear Kyle stir from the other side, and they didn't hear him groan.

"Fuckin' weirdoes," he muttered, burying his head back into his pillow. "Next time just sexile me. Wakin' up like this is just weird. Kinky freaks."


End file.
